August 26, 2020 Monumental Muse

Strolling Out and Scattering Ashes The TOLAD Way When a loved one dies there can be a longing for “one last…..”  Often this can be one last walk with them or visit to a favourite beauty or picnic spot.  Some families choose to do this in order to scatter ashes  and we are finding that an increasing number of families are preferring to scatter ashes in a more ecologically friendly way than they perhaps would have done in the past. Most people, unless they have done it before, expect when they scatter ashes that the ash will be fine, like…

August 23, 2020 Monumental Muse

GRIEF: ‘GO WITH THE FLOW WHILE MAKING SURE YOU SUPPORT YOUR BODY AS BEST YOU CAN’ Grief is hard to control, distressing and, at times, utterly overwhelming and painful. And the idea that there is a road map may be soothing and give us something to hang onto. However, it is an illusion.  Utter confusion The five stages of grief by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross are often used to try and explain the grieving process. However, they were “never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages” as she herself wrote in her last book ‘On Grief and Grieving’. All her…

August 17, 2020 Monumental Muse

Let’s Talk There’s no denying that this year and the last few months, especially, has been particularly hard for many of us.  We were thrust into a world which seemed almost surreal as we were told to “stay safe, stay at home” and the weekly norm was no longer a visit to Church, drink down the pub or day out to some beauty spot with the kids but Thursday evenings stood outside our house clapping for keyworkers. Those who lost loved ones during this period were especially affected with the introduction of very much reduced numbers of mourners permissible at…

July 25, 2020 Monumental Muse

Do you feel the need to let off steam?  One of our regular feature writers, Judith Morris, shares why this may not be such a bad thing to do. Why venting is good for you.  The last 4 months have been hard for everyone, with so many different pressures on us all, that we have never before experienced and sometimes we just need to let that out. The pressures of managing money, family, work deadlines and trying to fit in a personal life are bad enough in normal times but wow, add in Covid and the pressure gauge nearly bursts….

July 15, 2020 Monumental Muse

Have you ever wondered where your great-grandparents were laid to rest? Do you want to investigate that story handed down through the generations of your family about visiting a grave near a tree or next to a wall, maybe even finding that exact spot yourself? Are you researching your family history?   People with these kinds of questions and more are frequent visitors to the Genealogy Office at York Cemetery.  Usually they leave with at least some of the answers, sometimes with more questions and often with much more information than they asked for! The office is located at the…

June 21, 2020 Monumental Muse

We’re delighted to have an insight into this question from one of our regular guest writers Nutritional Therapist and Kundalini Yoga Instructor, Sabine Horner.  Sabine is based in York. IT’S OK TO NOT BE OK – UP TO A CERTAIN POINT I cannot remember how many times I have come across this phrase since I lost my husband in August 2017. Being a member of a group of young widows and widowers, I noticed that it was used a lot when people were too exhausted or overwhelmed by grief to be able to look after themselves properly. In a way…

May 25, 2020 Monumental Muse

Why a Post About Pandemic Grief? This post has been written by Geraldine as a result of a special request from one of our readers, who is finding difficulty coping with the pandemic situation and lockdown.  Thank you to Geraldine for responding so quickly to our request. Pandemic Grief Someone mentioned to me last week that they were feeling angry that their world, as you may imagine, has changed totally. They compared going through lockdown to going through the different stages of grief. I felt this was a very appropriate topic for this blog and here are my thoughts. As…

May 12, 2020 Monumental Muse 7Comment

Sharon on Claire: Claire Potter is a married mum of three who loves travelling, self-development, to be inspiring and to be inspired and, like me, the City of York (what’s not to love?).  A background in HR and Events eventually lead to her entering the funeral industry.  She is the Manager of F A Stockill & Son, Funeral Directors in Scarborough.  It is her passion for everything she does that enables her to uphold the Stockill family values of “Listening, Caring and Guiding” with ease. With lockdown due to Coronavirus in full flow Claire and I were unable to meet…

May 8, 2020 Monumental Muse

WHY GRIEF TURNS US INTO INSOMNIACS AND HOW WE CAN BREAK THIS CYCLE  A good night’s sleep is crucial for our health. But somehow, sleep doesn’t come easy when we are bereaved. Despite a severe lack of energy, many of us turn into night owls – staying up late and dragging ourselves out of bed the next morning. And if we do manage to go to bed early, many find it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep long enough to start the next day rested and refreshed. Needless to say, disrupted sleep doesn’t help when trying to cope with…

May 3, 2020 Monumental Muse

***NOW FOUND***THANK YOU TO ALL THOSE WHO HELPED*** I don’t normally publish posts like this on our blog but this story has rather pulled at my heartstrings and if I can I’d like to help. At only 19 years old Rosemarie Dooks was faced with an impossible, heartbreaking choice. A holiday romance had resulted in Rosemarie falling pregnant.  Having lost her beloved father at only 12 years of age Rosemarie turned to her mother for help. Her mother, a stalwart of the Church and worried what her neighbours would think told Rosemarie she would have to have an abortion and…